


Why Me?

by MedicalScienceBluesBaby



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Multi, Secret Admirer, Unrequited Love, reader is jealous of amanda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:37:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedicalScienceBluesBaby/pseuds/MedicalScienceBluesBaby
Summary: You love Sonny, Sonny loves Amanda, Amanda doesn't realize it. And someone is secretly in love with the sweet reader.





	1. Love Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna be my first continuing story in a long time, so please be easy on me. i'll update as i can, but please let me know if theres something i can change or fix up if you see it!

It all started after they had come back from West Virginia. 

Sonny had somehow seen Amanda in a different light or something. You knew he had feelings for her, so when he told you that they’d almost kissed, and Amanda ended up sleeping with some guy while they were there, you felt bad for him.

It only made the pain you felt from loving him hurt ten times more.

Yeah, it was the cliché run down story of how you were hopelessly in love with Dominick Carisi Jr. but he was in love with Amanda, who was utterly clueless. 

So when she asked Carisi to get a sandwich with her, and he said no, you swooped in after she left and asked him to come get lunch with you. 

“It’ll be fun. Besides, we both need a break.”

Begrudgingly, he accepted, and followed you down the street to a hot dog vendor then a bench at the park. When the two of you sat down, he told you about what had happened in their little mini-episode at his desk.

“I just don’t get it (Y/N), how can she do that and not know about how I feel?” He spoke around bits of hot dog in his mouth.

“Yeah, I have no idea..” You mumbled, feeling a pang of jealousy in your chest hearing how he talked about her. Biting your lip, you sighed. “Maybe you should try going after someone else Sonny. Someone who will be more appreciative of what you do and say for them.”

“…I just really like her. I don’t think I can.”

Another feeling of pain hit your heart, and you felt tears threatening to spill over. “Well, we can’t be too worried about it right now. We need to get back to work.” You hadn’t even ate half of your hot dog, but you felt no appetite for anything.

He stood, having finished his before giving your dog a raised eyebrow. “You’re not even done.” 

When you stood, you threw it into a trash can, giving a small smile before you spoke again. “I’m just not that hungry. Come on, we got more work to do.”

Despite the pain you felt, you had a job, and nothing was going to stop you from being as good as you could at your job. The pain was shattering though, and you weren't sure if you were going to be able to make it through the day without having to go to the bathroom to have a small cry session. 

The two of you made it back to the precinct, where Barba had shown up for a bit of time on the case. Little did you know someone was watching you the whole time with sparkling eyes.


	2. Love You Sweet Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah brings up something that shouldn't be said aloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it too obvious what angle i'm taking here? maybe? who cares.

It had been about 4 hours since Noah had gone missing, and you thought Olivia might just lose her mind. You couldn’t blame her though, if it had been your child you would’ve been having the same feelings. 

Finally, information came through and your boss realized it had been Sheila that had taken him away. 

You were all on edge though, and you had agreed to stick with Olivia during the time period so that she didn’t try to do something she shouldn’t. After she found out where the cabin was, and you went with her, you stood outside the door and waited for a command to go in.

Hearing screaming you almost went in, before you caught Noah coming out. Immediately you scooped him up, moving away from the door in case something happened. 

You called for back up, screaming at Olivia through the door. “Liv! Olivia! Answer me!”

Finally she called back, and you saw the local cops and paramedics rolling up.

It was going to be okay for once.  
\---  
At the same time that you rolled up to Olivia’s building, so did Rafael Barba. A smile donned his face when he saw you, trying to keep it as casual as he possibly could around you.

“Hey detective.” 

You smiled back at him, pushing your hair from your face as you watched him. “Hey counselor. On your way up?”

He approached you, offering his arm to you as you walked towards the door man. “Care to accompany me?” 

With a small giggle, you slid your hand around his arm and followed him into the building. “I’d love to.”

“..How do you think Liv is holding up?”

You frowned. Your boss was strong, but you knew that some part of her was still damaged from William Lewis, and now this as well. “I don’t know. You know how she is, she won’t tell any of us.”

The two of you sighed as you got on the elevator, waiting in silence until you got to her floor and stepped off, at which point you untangled your arm from his. If by some chance in hell Sonny had changed his mind, you didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

The banter was exchanged at the door, then when you were let in you hear a wonderful voice speak your name.

“Uncle Rafa! Aunt (Y/N)!” 

“Noah!” You smiled and reached across Fin, hugging the little boy tightly to your chest while he told “Rafa” about the deer.

“That’s jaywalking.”

“You’d put it in jail the second you saw it jaywalking wouldn’t you?” You teased him, smiling at him. Little did you know that smile cause someone to feel their heart drop.

“Yeah yeah. Bite me.” He sat next to you on the floor, mumbling a jab about you not arresting him. 

Noah soon piped up, handing Jessie a toy block while he spoke. “I have something I want to ask about.”

Olivia was quick to pounce on the question, wanting to make sure it was okay for everyone to hear. “What is it sweet boy?”

“Why does Uncle Rafa look at Aunt (Y/N) like that?”

A small tinge of pink crossed your face. “What do you mean Noah?”

“Like when momma looks at me and says she loves me. Uncle Rafa, do you love (Y/N)?”


	3. Get It Together, Barba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this fool can get it together idk

“Why does Uncle Rafa look at Aunt (Y/N) like that?”  


A small tinge of pink crossed your face. “What do you mean Noah?”  


“Like when momma looks at me and says she loves me. Uncle Rafa, do you love (Y/N)?”  
\---  


Rafael blanched at the comment, blushing a bit. Sonny had taken his eyes off Amanda finally, and he was watching the two of you. His eyes snapped back and forth between the two of you. You on the other hand were very confused. Rafael never seemed like he liked you as anything more than a friend.

He chuckled, smiling a bit. “No no, not like that at least. I look at her like that because she is one of my closest friends mijo.” 

Noah nodded slowly, but Olivia could tell he was trying to hide something from the rest of the squad.

You nodded, smiling. “Yeah, we’re thick as thieves. Right Rafa?” You grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently, showing your friendship.

“Si..” He smiled, one that was somewhat pained. He held your hand tightly, not wanting to let go. He found comfort in this position, like he was grounded to the earth.

After a moment you let go of his hand, knowing you two probably held them too long. Olivia on the other hand had a few questions burning in her mind.

“Can I see you for a moment, Rafael?” She started towards the door, opening it and stepping into the hallway while Rafael followed her.

His eyes lingered on you a little longer than they should, while Sonny shot a warning glare in his direction. 

You caught the tail end of the glare, raising an eyebrow at the man as he glared at Rafael. “What’s wrong Sonny?” 

“Uh nothing. Just thinking.” He stumbled a bit, not realizing at that moment a small part of him was jealous.

Olivia on the other hand was busy trying to convince Rafael to admit some certain things to you.

“It’s not happening Liv.”

She sighed. “Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? She says no?”

“She says no and our friendship is destroyed, my heart will be shattered, and I will want to crawl into a hole and die.” 

“This is not the Rafael Barba I know. The Rafael Barba I know is more daring than this, ready to take the bull by the horns during any situation.”

“…I know..I..I guess I’ll talk to her.”

Finally the two came back in, and when you excused yourself for the evening, a certain prosecutor trailed after you.


	4. One Sweet, Sweet Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone, but I'm back. And Rafa's kickin ass.
> 
> ...alsosorrythisisshortloveuguysforgiveme

The entire night had been spent with Rafael close by you, and Sonny’s eyes staring at you. Although, you barely noticed the fact that the two had been having a glaring match not too long before you got up and left. Standing, you went to the door, waving good bye to everyone as you put your coat on. Rafael was up and at the door too though.

“I’m heading out, let me walk you down.” He smiled brightly at you as you nodded. 

The two of you made your way to the road, making small talk as you had beforehand. He even waited with you while you got a cab. 

“Hey (F/N), I do have a question for you.” His heart was thumping loudly in his chest, while he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.

A grin crossed your face, unable to hold yourself back. “Absolutely. Shoot.”

He could hear his nervous heartbeat begin to drown out the blood in his ears, while his face turned bright red. Thank god it was night time and the street was dim.

“W..Would you want to go on a date with me? Tomorrow night?” 

That’s when your heart stopped, and you swear you couldn’t breathe. Rafael Barba, New York’s most incredible prosecutor, just asked you to go on a date with him.

“…Absolutely Rafael.” The words slid past you before you even realized it. But, a part of you told you this was right and it would be good. 

He stared at you for a moment, then smiled like a child who got the biggest, bestest gift they could get on Christmas. 

And in another moment, he had kissed you gently.

But at the same time, one detective who had seen it all, was completely jealous and angry.


End file.
